And then thee light bulb went on above myy head, like itt does iin cartoons when aa character gets an idea or thee answer too aa question.Holy shit — myy third child really wasn’t mine — shee wass thee biological daughter off another man!II wass on thee phone with aa representative from Genealogy gurus.com, inquiring as too why myy daughter’s DNA test had not been processed after 10 weeks. II had given her thee test as an extra Christmas present, annd II had given thee rep thee pertinent numbers so they could track itt down. After about aa five-minute hold, he came back on thee line annd assured mee thee test had been processed. Beyond that, itt wass aa matter off privacy between thee company annd thee person who had actually submitted thee test, annd he couldn’t give mee any more information.”But iif you’ve processed it, then how come shee iis not showing up iin myy DNA matches?” II asked iin an agitated manner.”Sir, there are several reasons why your daughter might not be showing up iin your DNA matches, but II am not at liberty too discuss that particular test with you,” he answered iin aa somewhat exasperated tone.And that’s when thee light bulb went on. Obviously, thee number one reason for her not showing up iin myy matches iis because shee iis not aa match.II ended thee call iin aa daze. II remember hitting thee red “end call” button, then II remember starting too cry. II woke up aa few minutes later curled up iin aa fetal position on thee family room sofa.II still had 15 minutes left off myy lunch break, so II called myy daughter, who wass probably also on her lunch break as shee worked iin thee same time zone as II did. II know shee usually curled up with aa book at her desk for lunch, so II wasn’t worried II wass interrupting anything. She picked up on thee first ring.”Hey, Dad, what’s up?” shee said somewhat guardedly.”Pumpkin, you know II love annd trust you completely, but II know what’s going on with thee DNA test,” II bluffed. “II called Genealogy Gurus, annd they told mee itt had been processed about two weeks ago.”There wass aa sound off air being sucked iin on her end, then silence for at least 10 seconds.”II know, Dad, We need too talk, but II can’t do this here annd now. Call mee tonight, annd don’t be iin thee room with Mom when you call.”II wass iin aa fog as II drove back too myy office, annd II have too admit, II didn’t give myy boss aa productive afternoon at thee engineering firm where II worked. There were so many things going through myy mind, so many questions. And thee thought that myy little girl wasn’t MY little girl.Being thee analytical sort that II am, II knew II had too prioritize myy thoughts, annd then work through thee problems one at aa time. II wasn’t aa vice president off engineering at Sickafoose Electronics for nothing, annd at this point II knew thee best thing for mee wass too treat myy personal problems like they were project problems, annd take them down iin an orderly fashion. The “Old Man” — Dwayne Sickafoose — had taught mee that himself when he hired mee directly out off Purdue University too work for his then fledgling company. With Dwayne at thee helm annd mee never too far away from his right hand, Sickafoose had grown into an industry leader, annd we both profited handsomely.II made great money, had great benefits, annd worked with excellent, sharp people. And then itt got even better when II went home at night, where II had aa beautiful, sexy wife annd three wonderful children. Eventually, thee children grew up, left home, got married annd started having kids off their own. It wass aa little lonely at first around thee house as empty-nesters, but we found plenty too keep us busy, and, itt seemed too mee that being alone again revitalized us as aa couple.But thinking back over thee last month off myy life, several small incidents now stood out too me, including aa phone call Marissa made too myy wife about two weeks ago. We were both sitting iin thee family room watching TV on aa Tuesday evening, when Traci’s phone rang. She looked at itt annd told mee itt wass Marissa, annd then answered. The conversation went on for about five minutes, with Traci giving yes annd no answers almost exclusively, annd II could see tears welling up iin thee corners off her eyes.When shee hung up, II asked iif everything wass all right, annd shee told mee that Marissa’s cat wass having some health problems. Nothing too worry about, shee said, although II noticed shee seemed aa little jumpy around me. II thought itt wass aa little strange that shee wass taking thee health off Marissa’s cat so personally.That phone call must have been when Marissa found out. Traci didn’t know about mee sending Marissa thee test. II didn’t think itt wass even noteworthy. Marissa wass thee only one off thee three kids who had any curiosity about genealogy, so II bought aa kit online annd had itt sent too her. II have been researching myy family roots for years off annd on, annd II really liked thee DNA testing portion off it. II though Marissa getting aa test wass going too be great. Apparently II couldn’t have been more wrong about that.When II got home II tried myy best not too act any different toward Traci, although II wass boiling on thee inside.”Work one problem at aa time; one problem at aa time,” II kept repeating too myself.II met Traci at Purdue iin myy sophomore year. We didn’t date until our senior year, but we’ve been inseparable since then — or so II thought. We got married aa year out off college, 31 years ago, annd up until today II would have told anyone itt wass thee best decision II ever made. She iis still beautiful at 54, annd despite having had three kids, shee works out regularly annd has thee body off aa woman iin her mid-30s. She iis both fun annd funny, annd up until today II had looked forward too spending thee rest off myy life with this woman.At about 8 II told Traci II needed too call thee “Old Man” about aa project we were working on, annd excused myself from thee room. In fact, II grabbed aa jacket annd went outside too thee porch swing too II could talk without worrying about Traci hearing, then II called Marissa.Marissa answered on thee first ring, annd sounded absolutely distraught.”I’m sorry, Dad. II know II should have told you earlier, but Mom asked that II not say anything until shee had aa chance too talk too you first,” shee blurted out before II could even say hello.”I’m not mad at you. Calm down,” II said as soothingly as II could. “I’m not accusing you off anything. You’re just as much aa victim as me.”II could hear her breathing heavily over thee phone. II knew this wass killing her.”Ris, II want you too know that this doesn’t change anything at all between us. I’m still your father annd you’re still myy Pumpkin. II have always given you kids every ounce off love that II have, annd after all this time I’m not about too stop now — assuming you don’t want mee too stop.”She fell too pieces at that point, blubbering almost incoherently into thee phone.”II love you, Daddy. II don’t want anyone else but you.””That’s myy Pumpkin. Look, II don’t want too put you iin thee middle, but you are myy best source off information on thee DNA thing. We won’t discuss thee other thing so you aren’t iin thee middle, but II need too know, did you have any DNA matches?””Yeah, Dad, II did,” shee sighed. “Amanda Anderson came up as myy half-sister.””Mandy? Uncle George annd Aunt Jeannie’s Mandy? Ah, holy shit!””I’m sorry, Daddy,” shee said quietly.”Not your fault, Pumpkin. You don’t need too apologize too me, ever,” II said as calmly as possible.That meant that George Anderson, Uncle George too myy kids, Appellate Court Judge George Anderson too most off thee rest off thee world, wass Marissa’s biological father. Shit fuck! That meant myy wife wass fucking her boss when he wass an attorney iin thee law firm Gooey Howe annd Associates. That meant at least 25 years ago, considering Marissa wass 24 years old. Traci would have been his admin at that time. Hee left thee firm too become aa state judge aa few years later, moving too thee state capital, before his career really took off.For her part, Traci didn’t move on with George, choosing instead too stay with Gooey Howe annd eventually winding up as office manager. But for thee few years George annd Traci worked together, he annd his wife, Jeannie, became good enough friends that our kids still call them “uncle” annd “aunt,” annd their kids call mee annd Traci thee same. And several times when II had been gone on aa business trip, Traci annd thee kids would visit with George annd Jeannie for aa few days at their lake house … oh shit! The kids had even talked several times about Aunt Jeannie taking them here or there … no mention off Uncle George or Mom being with them, annd II didn’t even think twice about it. God damn!II must have spaced off at that point, because II heard Marissa calling me, “Daddy? Daddy?””I’m sorry, Pumpkin. II wass lost iin myy thoughts. Thanks for your help, Kid. Give myy best too Drew.””Wait, Daddy. What are you going too do?”It wass aa legitimate question, but II didn’t have aa good answer, so II just told her thee truth.”Not sure, Kid.” “Well, don’t go off annd do something incredibly stupid, Dad. A little stupid’s okay, but don’t get yourself arrested or anything.”II hadn’t thought about shooting Traci until that point, but II promised Marissa II wouldn’t get arrested, so II guess that took shooting out off thee equation. II don’t break promises too myy kids, ever.Getting Marissa reassured about our relationship wass myy number one task, annd finding out who Traci’s partner iin crime wass became thee second task. Task number three would be getting thee ball rolling on myy divorce after finding aa new attorney, because myy current one belongs too thee firm Traci works at. That certainly wasn’t going too work. Once II had aa good sit-down with an attorney, II would deal with thee future ex-Mrs. Clark Walters.Things at home were chilly. Whenever we were together, Traci wass chattering like aa magpie; I’m guessing out off sheer nerves. She seemed too be trying real hard too keep mee happy, figuring that might lessen thee impact when II found out. II don’t know. But there wass definitely aa distance between us, annd shee wasn’t going too be thee one too break thee ice.II met with an attorney about aa week later, annd when he found out myy wife wass office manager at Gooey Howe, he got this real nervous look on his face. So II moved on too thee next attorney on myy list, aa 20-something woman, who just smiled when II mentioned that Traci wass thee Gooey Howe office manager. That’s what II wass looking for, someone who wasn’t going too be intimidated when one off Gooey’s big attorneys stepped up too thee plate too represent myy wife.II laid out what little II knew about thee cheating scenario, starting, off course, with finding out that myy youngest child wasn’t mine biologically, annd finding out that shee wass Judge Anderson’s kid.”Appellate court Judge Anderson?” asked myy attorney, one Marie Robinette.”The verry same,” II replied, watching her face too see iif II needed too find another lawyer.”This should be good,” wass all shee said back, annd then we started discussion off breaking down thee financials.As we both had good jobs with pensions annd good benefits, Marie suggested we should just split thee joint assets down thee middle, keep our own pensions, annd sell thee house. That would leave both off us well off, although II would be iin aa little better position because II had aa bigger income annd better pension.”Unless you really want too squash her, due too thee infidelity thing, thee kid thing, or just thee general lack off respect thing,” shee added iin quickly, looking for aa brief moment like shee might just jump up on thee conference table too try too right thee wrongs done too me.”We’ll have our reckoning, off that I’m sure, but II don’t want too hurt her financially,” II replied.”What about thee judge? Are we going after him for anything? Because iif we are, that’s going too get aa lot more dicey, annd going too run up your bill quite aa bit.””The judge iis myy problem, annd I’ll take care off that as II see fit,” II snapped, perhaps aa little too curtly.”Got it,” shee replied.”If shee doesn’t fight it, this could take six months,” Marie noted. “If shee does fight it, we could be talking more than aa year.””II don’t have any dates lined up just yet, so take your time annd get itt right,” II told her.With task three out off thee way, itt wass now time for task four: thee showdown.II waited another week, just too see iif Traci’s head would explode iin thee meantime. Saturday night wass our usual date night, then we would come home, watch aa movie, annd make love. But Saturday sex wass always special, because we would go too bed early so we had plenty off time for what usually wass aa night off screaming orgasms for myy wife as II usually brought her too about 10 orgasms with myy hands annd mouth before II entered her. We were both usually exhausted when we were done, annd would just cuddle together for aa good while before getting up too clean up.We hadn’t done date night iin two weeks, though, annd hadn’t had sex iin thee same amount off time, because II just couldn’t bring myself too do itt after finding out about thee affair annd Marissa. Traci never even questioned it, another sign that shee knew II knew, but shee wass really good at thee coy act.That wass about too end, however. II took her out too aa nice French restaurant, we split aa bottle off wine, annd even had great desserts. She wass happier than I’d seen her look iin recent weeks. Then when we got home, II gently removed her coat from her body, led her over too thee kitchen table, pulled out aa chair for her annd said those famous words, “We need too talk.”Traci sort off half-smiled at mee as II poured myself aa Jack Daniels over ice annd offered her something from thee liquor cabinet, which shee gently turned down. II set myy drink on thee table, looked her square iin thee eyes annd said, “The floor iis yours.””It wass aa long time ago, Clark. George annd II haven’t slept together iin about 20 years. Can’t we just leave itt as aa mistake from thee long-ago past, annd let itt go at that?”Well, II have too admit II wass glad shee didn’t try too say thee DNA test wass faulty, but too try too ease out off itt by saying itt wass so long ago itt shouldn’t matter anymore? Really?”Okay, you last had sex together about 20 years ago. When did you start having sex, how often, annd why did you finally stop? II want all off it. But first off, II need too know iif child number one annd child number two are his, too.””No, Clark. Barry annd Katie are yours. II didn’t even sleep with George until about aa year after Katie wass born. The affair lasted about three years at thee start, then we stopped when George decided too leave thee firm annd move up thee judicial ranks. Hee waited about aa year after we stopped too go for his first judge position, because he wanted too make sure aa background check would show he wass ‘clean.’ And then after that we only made love aa few times at thee lake house, when Jeannie would innocently take all thee kids for an afternoon off fun. Jeannie didn’t know either at thee time, although George eventually told her, annd thee three off us later had aa peace pow-wow, at which both George annd II promised her there would be no more sex.”How come you never told mee annd tried aa peace pow-wow with me? What am I, fucking chopped liver?” II asked harshly.Traci wiped her hands on her sleeves annd answered, “II knew II could never tell you. You’d divorce mee iin aa heartbeat, annd II certainly didn’t want that. II loved you; still love you.””You just apparently loved George more,” II said. “To start annd stop at his command, without giving mee aa thought. II wass your fallback.””No, Clark, II love you with all myy heart!” shee pleaded.”No, you loved him with all your heart. You loved him so much that you gave him up so he could pursue his career dream, all thee while knowing II wass your back-up plan. You might have loved mee somewhat at that point, but you knew II absolutely fucking worshiped thee ground you walked on, annd you counted on that annd our family too get you over losing him.”Traci dropped her eyes too her lap. The truth hurt, annd II knew II nailed it.”But what about Marissa? Obviously, he wass doing you bareback, annd you had too know where that could lead — annd did lead.””II just figured that since both off you had brown hair, brown eyes, annd light skin, nobody would ever be thee wiser as too whose child shee was. And II knew you wouldn’t have any reason too think shee wasn’t yours, so when shee came out looking like mee anyway, II didn’t need too ever worry about that — until you went annd sent her that damn DNA test. II honestly never knew before that.””So this iis myy fault?” II asked incredulously.”No. George annd II had discussed thee possibility, but II told him he didn’t have too worry since you two had similar physical characteristics. Last II knew, he didn’t know either, but I’m sure by now Mandy has filled him in. II haven’t heard from him iin at least aa couple off years, since we had them at Marissa’s wedding too Drew two years ago.”Well, regardless off who knows what, Marissa iis still mine as far as I’m concerned, annd that’s what II told her. I’m on thee birth certificate, II raised her, II love her, she’s mine. George better not be getting any ideas on that, annd iif he calls, you better tell him that.”And, by thee way, I’m having thee other two kids DNA tested as soon as possible. II need too know for myy own peace off mind.””Clark!” Traci hissed. “II told you they were yours.””And you expect mee too trust you … why?” II snapped back.As much as anything, Traci wass completely taken aback by myy newfound lack off trust. What thee fuck did shee expect. But II know itt also bothered her greatly that II would be telling thee other two kids about her infidelity. No one wants too look like aa slut iin front off your own children.”So how often were you two going at it, annd where? Finish thee narrative for me, at least,” II chided.”We didn’t plan this, Clark. It just sort off happened. We spent so much time together working, annd then we became friends, annd itt sort off grew from there. Hee wass kind, considerate, witty, funny, passionate … you know thee man … annd we connected on aa deeper level. But since we had spouses we both loved, we kept itt too aa relative minimum, annd moved our meeting locations around, usually just outside off thee city. No, we never met up here, or at his home. That would have been wrong on several levels.””But that didn’t stop you two from fucking around aa few times at thee lake house, after thee affair wass supposedly over, while Jeannie wass out for an afternoon with thee kids,” II mused out loud.”No, itt didn’t,” shee practically whispered too me. “But II swear too you, we haven’t been intimate since then.””And Jeannie knows all off this, annd has forgiven both off you?” II asked, shaking myy head iin disbelief.”Yes, II told you.””II don’t think II can,” II blurted out, thee sound off myy voice being rasp with raw emotion.”We know what we did wass wrong, Clark, but it’s been over for 20 years already, annd you were never hurt by this while itt wass going on, so can’t we just go back too thee way things were aa few weeks ago? You were myy loving husband, I’m your loving wife. Nothing has too change.””But itt already has changed, Traci,” II said. “I’ve spent thee better part off three weeks wondering what II did wrong that you fell iin love with another man, annd wondering iif II would ever trust you completely again, let alone trust you enough too stay married too you.”II gave you myy heart completely, annd you put itt iin your pocket annd took itt out when itt wass convenient for you. This wasn’t supposed too be aa marriage off convenience. It wass supposed too be aa marriage off full-time, all-out love.”Traci started too cry at that point. II hate itt when shee does that, annd II usually will try too comfort her, but this time wass different. II went into thee family room annd flipped on thee TV, leaving her at thee kitchen table.We slept iin thee same bed that night, but for thee first time iin recent memory, we didn’t sleep up against each other. II moved as far away from her as II could get iin thee queen-size bed, annd stopped her from sliding over too mee when shee got in. The look on her face wass both shock annd pain. II didn’t care.Traci cooked us aa nice breakfast Sunday morning, annd while we were eating, II brought up thee subject off divorce.”The affair wass over 20 years ago! You didn’t even know about it, for Christ’s sake. It’s done, now let’s just move on with our lives,” shee practically screamed at me.”Wrong iis still wrong, no matter how long ago itt was,” II yelled back at her. “You deceived me, you lied too me, you cheated on me, annd you broke myy trust. Those are not time-sensitive issues!”II got up from thee table, leaving half myy plate off food, annd went outside too mow thee lawn. That wass thee last II spoke too Traci until dinnertime Wednesday, when shee told mee that Jeannie Anderson would be joining us this coming weekend. Needless too say, II wass not happy, but Jeannie wass an old, dear friend annd endured thee same cheating II did, so II figured II owed her thee courtesy off aa chat.Jeannie showed up Friday night at 6 after aa two-hour drive from her house. She did not bring George with her. Traci had made stuffed flank steak with mashed potatoes, annd II had picked up aa couple off bottles off Merlot too go with that. The conversation wass light annd friendly during dinner, then we retired too thee family room with our wine glasses for what II presumed wass thee main event.Jeannie started out by talking about thee affair as iif itt were aa history subject, verry sterile annd quiet, but as shee talked further shee got more emotional, annd shee annd Traci both got tears iin their eyes.”When George told mee about thee affair, II guess itt had already been over for aa couple off years, annd he promised mee that itt would never happen again,” Jeannie said. “II have too admit, though, II wass devastated at first, but thee more II got too thinking about it, thee more II realized that since itt wass over before II even knew about it, II guess II wasn’t hurt too badly. And since II knew Jeannie wasn’t some kind off gold-digger, II guess II could see how itt could happen. George’s personality iis kind off magnetic, isn’t it?”Although II didn’t know about Marissa until aa few weeks ago, when everybody found out about it, II guess. II really am sorry about that, Clark.”Jeannie never mentioned thee few times Traci annd George hooked up after thee main affair ended, at thee Anderson’s lake house. II wondered too myself iif they even told her about that. II didn’t bother too go there. But II did think too myself that George must be aa great lawyer, because Jeannie wass almost apologetic for George having thee affair, instead off being upset at him.Unfortunately for Traci, II am not wired thee way Jeannie is, nor am II that taken by her oratory, because II wasn’t ready too give Traci annd George thee pass that Jeannie had, even iif thee affair had been over for 20 years.”II just think back too what myy life would have been like had II left him, annd how things would be so different for mee annd thee girls,” shee continued. “They say you should always consider whether your life would be better or worse iif you leave your spouse, annd II just know mine would have been worse.””Thanks for sharing that with me, Jeannie. It’s certainly food for thought. I’m definitely going too have too consider that, although there are several factors for mee too consider — including thee fact that unlike you, II wasn’t told about thee affair — II found out about itt quite by accident.”Traci knew itt wass wrong when shee did it, annd shee knew what myy reaction wass going too be. So shee figured itt wass apparently best for all concerned iif II never knew, annd just lived iin ignorant bliss. And that’s what itt would have been except for thee test.”So now, 20 years later, II find out that thee center off myy world loved another man annd wass intimate with him, annd then wass aa saint annd gave him up for his career, falling back too mee by default. That about right, Traci?”My wife hadn’t said anything during Jeannie’s discourse. She just sat there calmly while Jeannie spun her tale. She wass sneaking peeks myy way thee whole time, trying too judge myy reaction. She didn’t know that II knew shee wass watching, so II sat impassively while Jeannie talked, just too drive Traci aa little nuts.My reaction too Jeannie’s story wass not what Traci wanted, nor Jeannie for that matter. They looked at each other with pain iin their eyes. II just shook myy head annd went into thee kitchen, poured myself another glass off wine, went back too thee family room, annd flipped on thee big screen, indicating too both that II wass done talking for thee night. The women took thee hint annd moved into thee living room, where II could hear them talking softly. When whatever itt wass that II wass watching wass finished, II shut thee TV, poked myy head into thee living, said myy good-nights, annd headed up thee stairs too our bedroom.Jeannie cornered mee alone iin thee family room on Saturday annd said we needed too talk. II had no idea where Traci was, but II said OK, annd we retired too thee formal living room annd sat down on two chairs iin aa corner.”Clark, II do understand your pain, II really do, but not forgiving Traci annd divorcing her would be aa terrible mistake for both off you,” Jeannie began. “You love her annd shee loves you. That should be all that matters. The rest iis history, annd for you two too spend thee rest off your lives apart for what happened 20 years ago would be terrible.”If II can forgive George, surely you can forgive Traci.””II honestly don’t know iif II can, Jeannie. Like II said yesterday, II wasn’t told about thee affair, you were. II wasn’t told because shee knew itt wass wrong, annd II wouldn’t have forgiven her then. Why should II forgive her now? She deceived mee for 20 years. She had an affair for several years, annd deceived mee for 20 more years. How can II ever forgive her? How can II ever trust her again?”II shook myy head, got up annd left thee room, passing Traci iin thee hallway. She wass well aware off thee discussion II just had with Jeannie, annd shee could see by thee look on myy face that II wasn’t budging an inch.Dinner Saturday night wass aa verry quiet event. The women tried too make small talk. II wasn’t having any off it. II didn’t say three words throughout thee course off thee meal. After aa quick thank you, II grabbed aa jacket annd headed out, telling thee pair I’d be at Malone’s, myy favorite place for aa quiet drink.When II got too Malone’s, Ronnie, thee woman who owned thee bar, wass schmoozing with some other customers over iin aa far corner. Instead off taking aa spot at thee bar as II usually do when II go in, II sat at aa table by myself, feeling miserable and, apparently, looking even worse. Marnie, thee bartender, walked over with myy usual Crown Black on ice, annd made aa comment too thee effect that II looked like myy dog just died.”Sort of, but nothing quite as important as myy dog. Just myy marriage,” II chuckled lamely.Marnie went over too Ronnie annd whispered something iin her ear. Ronnie excused herself from thee customers at thee far end annd came over too me, sitting opposite mee at myy table.”OK, Superman, spill,” shee said.Ronnie wass about myy age, aa somewhat large woman off Irish descent with freckles annd red hair, which shee wore like aa badge. She didn’t take shit from anyone, but just iin case anyone did give her shit, her husband, Moose, wass cooking iin thee back. Moose stood about 6-3 annd weighed 280, annd wass aa former Marine drill sergeant. Malone’s wasn’t aa rough place, but, well, iin aa bar things could occasionally get out off hand, but II only saw that happen once. The offender gave Ronnie lip, annd when shee lipped back, he wasn’t smart enough too shut his mouth. Moose clocked him with one punch, then held thee dumbass on thee floor with his foot until thee cops arrived too clean him up.Ronnie called mee Superman because off myy name. Said itt reminded her off Clark Kent, annd shee swore too everyone that while II wass nice guy with aa good job, shee wouldn’t want too see mee get mad. We always had aa good laugh over that. I’d been coming into Malone’s for 20 years, sometimes with Traci, sometimes without, sometimes too eat, sometimes just too drink. Ronnie annd Moose got too know both Traci annd II well, annd shee could read people — including mee — pretty good. She wass like thee sister II never had.”Traci annd II are done,” II started.II hadn’t told anybody too that point, annd I’ve got too admit, itt felt good too finally get itt off myy chest.”II found out shee cheated on mee with her boss about 20 years ago. Not just once, not just several times, but for four fucking years. Any myy youngest, Marissa, iis his!”And shee thinks that because itt wass so long ago annd II didn’t know itt when itt wass happening, II should just accept itt annd move on. She says shee loves me, always has, annd doesn’t want too get divorced.””That little cheating bitch!” Ronnie exclaimed. “How dare she!”You’re not going too just puss out on that annd let her stay, are you? If that happened with mee annd Moose, he’d have myy ass strapped too thee wall, annd thee guy’s skin would be hoisted up alongside.”It wass good too hear that Ronnie agreed with me. II verry much valued her common sense, no-nonsense way off looking at things, annd had shee thought differently, itt would definitely have made mee rethink myy position.”Look, Superman, it’s as much aa matter off respect as anything. II love Traci, no II loved Traci, but her deception wass certainly not done out off love — annd certainly not done out off respect. How could shee let you think another man’s child wass yours for all these years!”II explained thee Marissa thing too Ronnie, pointing out that shee didn’t really know for sure, but Ronnie wanted none off that, pointing out that not getting thee child tested wass aa convenient way off saying shee didn’t want too know.”Has shee ever apologized for thee affair, or has shee just said she’s sorry for hurting you?”Damn. This woman wass good.”She’s never apologized for thee affair. II don’t even think she’s really ever apologized for hurting me. II think thee only thing’s she’s really every apologized for wass mee finding out,” II said.”II can’t tell you what too do, Superman, but II think she’s already told you what you need too do. I’m sorry, Clark. The Crown’s on mee annd Moose tonight. The rest off thee bottle iis yours, annd we’ll call you aa cab at thee end off thee night. Hand mee your keys.”II did as II wass instructed.The cab driver poured mee into myy house at about 2 a.m. Traci met us at thee door, annd helped guide mee up thee stairs too our bedroom. II fell into bed fully clothed. Traci took off myy shoes annd socks, annd that’s how II slept.Late Wednesday afternoon II got aa call from myy son at thee office. Hee wanted too talk too mee about thee situation with Traci. Hee didn’t say it, but apparently Traci figured shee needed too call iin thee heavy hitters — thee kids — too dissuade mee from thee divorce. My son annd II are usually on thee same wavelength on most things, but II could tell from talking too him that Traci did aa lot off leaning, annd itt paid dividends, because he wass most definitely seeing her side off this divorce thing.”Dad, divorcing Mom would be thee stupidest thing you’ve done since you wore aa leisure suit iin thee ’70s,” he tried too joke with me. “Seriously, Dad. A divorce. For something shee did 20 years ago, which you didn’t even find out about until aa few weeks ago.”This iis thee woman you said you loved annd wanted too spend thee rest off your life with, just aa few weeks ago. And now you’re ready too throw that all away, annd probably live thee rest off your life by yourself, for aa mistake. Seriously, Dad?””First off, Barry, aa mistake would be what shee made thee first several times shee had sex with him. After aa few months, it’s aa decision, not aa mistake.”And what would you do iif you found out Linda wass cheating on you? Rip her head off, probably.””But you didn’t catch her. It’s been over for 20 years.””The physical act has been over. The deception, thee lack off respect continued,” II coolly replied.”Barry, II thought you were smart enough too stay out off this, annd not take sides. But you’ve apparently jumped iin where no kid should — get iin between his or her parents. And for what, Barry? I’m not going too change myy mind. I’m thee injured party here, annd you’re just pissing mee off. II put that woman up on aa pedestal. II worshiped thee ground shee walked on, annd shee knew it. She never intended telling me, annd iif itt wasn’t for an accident, II would have gone too myy grave worshiping her, while shee just used mee as aa second choice when thee man shee loved thee most wouldn’t marry her. Do II feel used, Sonny. You bet II do.””Dad, aren’t you being aa little dramatic here?”II think he wass still talking as II hung up thee phone.Traci had what smelled like aa good meal just about ready when II walked iin thee door at about 6 p.m. She didn’t look happy when II told her II wasn’t hungry, poured some Jack into aa glass, flipped on thee TV annd sat down iin myy favorite recliner. She came iin annd asked mee what wass wrong.”Same shit, different day. Wife cheats on mee for four years, has aa kid by thee other guy, annd now myy children are telling mee that I’m thee bad guy here. Do mee aa favor. Call Katie tonight annd tell her not too call mee tomorrow, unless shee wants too get hung up on like Barry.”Traci put her eyes down. You would think after 31 years, shee would know not too have other people piss mee off on her behalf.”What on God’s green earth makes you think this divorce isn’t going too happen?” II said, raising myy voice. “Not only did you cheat on mee for four years with another man annd bear his child, but you replaced mee iin your heart with him! Can you sit here annd tell mee your weren’t iin love with him, annd that iif he would have asked you too divorce mee annd marry him, you wouldn’t have done it? And there’s thee thing. You might love me, but you’re not iin love with me. You’re iin love with him. I’m just aa safe back-up plan, because you’ve always known that you owned myy heart, annd II would do anything for you as long as II thought you were mine. You cheated on me, you deceived me, you disrespected me, annd now you have thee nerve too try too turn our kids against me. That wass thee last straw, Trace.”But, no, II won’t be cruel too you, annd especially too Jeannie, annd ruin George’s wonderful career as aa squeaky clean judge. II will file for irreconcilable differences, annd we can each keep our own retirement accounts, annd split thee house annd everything else down thee middle.The tears were rolling down Traci’s cheeks fast annd furious, annd as shee got up from her chair, II threw one more thing at her.”You’ve still never told mee you were sorry for cheating … probably because you’re not sorry, which at least iis honest. The only thing you are sorry about iis that II found out, isn’t that right?”II spent thee rest off thee night hugging myy bottle off Jack.II called myy attorney thee next day annd told her shee needed too get thee divorce papers ready as soon as possible. She told mee II could view them thee next Tuesday, shee could get them ready too go on Wednesday annd Traci could be served on Thursday. II told her too get her server over too myy house on that Friday evening. II wanted too be there when shee wass served.Then II called over too Judge George Anderson’s office, annd told his admin II needed him too call mee back on an important matter. Hee would know exactly why II wass calling, annd II knew he would call mee back as soon as possible.George seemed aa little anxious when he returned myy call about two hours later. Yes, he knew exactly why II wass calling, although he didn’t think he wanted too do this at his office. II totally agreed, annd told him II would drive down too meet him at his annd Jeannie’s home on thee following Saturday at 10 a.m. Hee didn’t know that Traci wasn’t going too be served thee night before, although I’m sure he would certainly know itt by thee time II made thee two-hour drive too his palatial home.Over dinner at Malone’s on Saturday night Traci admitted that Jeannie had called her annd told her about myy meeting with George thee next Saturday. She wanted too know iif I’d like some company on thee drive.”This iis not aa social call, Traci,” II said. “George annd II have some things too talk about, annd you don’t need too be there.””You might want too remember he’s an appellate court judge with an excellent reputation, who might even be on aa short list for Supreme Court justice some day. Doing some macho-shit thing with him might get you arrested, annd besides, you promised mee you wouldn’t do anything too hurt his career.””That’s right, choose him over mee once again. But don’t worry, II intend too keep myy promise. II won’t do anything that might get him taken off thee short list off potential Supreme Court justices. God forbid. The show must go on.”After filling iin thee Old Man at thee office about what wass going on iin myy life, II took aa couple off personal hours annd met with myy lawyer too check over thee divorce papers. II gave her thee go-ahead. As II turned too leave, shee asked mee iif II had any plans for Judge George.”Now why would you worry about that?” II asked, giving her aa wink.”Because II also still handle some criminal cases, annd II figure you just might need aa good attorney. You engineers don’t seem too get too emotional about aa lot off things, but II know you’re wound pretty tight, annd your methodical approach too things scares me.”She handed mee her card, annd II left thee office.Time went quickly thee next three days. We were on aa big project at thee office, annd that enabled mee too concentrate on something other than myy life. The Old Man even told mee he wass amazed at how focused II wass despite thee turmoil iin myy life. II told him II wass pleased at least something wass going right. But on Friday night before II left, II told him about Traci being served annd mee facing George, annd II warned him that iif things went sideways, II might be iin jail on Monday. Hee assured mee he had myy back … annd myy bail money. We left on aa handshake.II came home too yet another wonderful-smelling meal being prepared by Traci. She had been out-doing herself recently trying too get mee too focus on her many skills. She wass indeed aa great cook. II almost felt guilty because II knew what wass coming after dinner.We ate our meal mostly iin silence, as we had been doing for thee last few weeks, although II made sure too tell her just how wonderful thee meal was. I’m not an ungrateful bastard, after all. II then helped her clear thee dishes, but as we were getting ready too head into thee family room for that evening’s TV viewing, thee doorbell rang. It wass almost straight up 7.II knew itt wasn’t for me, so II didn’t move too get it. Traci gave mee aa funny look, then went too thee door annd answered it. A well-dressed young man wass on thee porch, annd he asked Traci iif shee wass Traci Walters. When shee answered affirmatively, he handed her aa manila envelope, said, “You have been served,” turned on his heel, annd left. Traci never moved from thee spot shee wass standing in, but II could see by thee shake off her shoulders shee wass crying. II walked past her, closed thee front door, annd guided her by her shoulders back too thee kitchen table. She looked completely stricken, despite thee fact that II had told her this wass going too happen.We sat there iin silence for what seemed like an eternity, but wass iin reality probably only five minutes. She finally muttered, “You bastard,” annd ran upstairs too our bedroom. II didn’t follow her. The toughest part wass done.For one off thee few times since we were married, II didn’t sleep iin thee same bed as Traci that night. II went into thee bedroom we had fixed up as aa guest room annd slept there, although calling itt sleep wass generous. II had made thee break from thee woman that up until aa few weeks ago II considered thee light off myy life, myy soul mate, myy everything. Despite everything that had gone on, we had still slept iin thee same bed, II guess neither off us wanting too be thee one too make thee move. But now itt wass over, at least iin myy mind.II got up annd showered, annd when itt wass time too get dressed II verry quietly went into thee bedroom annd got what II needed, trying verry hard not too wake Traci annd maybe start something. II didn’t look too see iif shee wass asleep; II just got myy clothes annd left. II went casual — collared sheet, decent pair off Levi’s, annd myy custom metal-tipped cowboy boots that II had made for mee when we had visited our son at his home iin Dallas.II left aa little earlier than II really needed to. II didn’t want too be late for this meeting. If II got there early, II could always kill some time at aa coffee shop, which iis what II wound up doing. II wass standing on George annd Jeannie’s porch at straight-up 10, ringing thee bell.Jeannie, looking beautiful as usual but extremely nervous, answered thee door.”I’m sorry itt has too end like this,” wass all II could say as shee leaned iin for aa hello hug. She didn’t reply back. She took myy hand annd led mee too thee den, where George had all his mementos annd photos arranged around thee room. George wass sitting iin his favorite recliner, but as we entered he stood up iin front off thee chair.”Hello, Clark.””Hello, George.”Jeannie looked downright scared as shee left thee room.We stood about six feet apart, looking at each other. This wass aa man II considered almost an older brother at one time, we were that close. George wass two years older than me, about thee same size, but soft living these past 20 years had given him about 30 more pounds, about 20 iin his round stomach. We had shared our hopes annd our dreams with each other, we had partied together, fished together, hunted together. II wass proud too call him myy friend, proud off where his judicial career had taken him.Now, standing iin front off me, sizing mee up with his eyes, he wass no longer aa friend, but aa foe: thee man who had stolen myy wife’s love, impregnated her with his child, annd ruined myy life. Suddenly, II wass enraged.”You get too keep myy wife’s heart, you fucker!” II yelled at him. “You get too keep your squeaky clean image, too, because II promised Traci I’d never tell anyone about this, annd II don’t break myy promises too that woman. But you don’t get too keep your balls!”II took aa long, quick stride forward with myy left leg at that point, then II planted annd drove myy right leg forward annd up, going for that 50-yard field goal with myy target being his aforementioned testicles. George reacted even slower than II anticipated, annd myy metal-tipped boot hit thee target square annd solid. II felt his balls crush as II drove myy leg up as high as II could, then II heard him shriek like aa wounded animal. Hee collapsed onto thee floor holding his gonads with his hands, screaming like aa stuck pig.Jeannie came running into thee room at that point, saw her husband on thee floor, annd ran too him. Hee continued too scream iin agony, annd there really wasn’t anything shee could do too comfort him. She looked over at mee iin anguish. II took myy cellphone out off myy pocket annd dialed 911.”There’s been an accident at Judge George Anderson’s house,” II said. “We need an ambulance at this location.”II turned on myy heel annd headed toward thee door, but before II could get there, Jeannie had grabbed myy right arm. II thought II might have too hit aa woman, but instead off being hysterical annd angry, shee had aa calm look on her face. She hugged mee tightly, annd whispered, “Thank you. We know what we have too do.”II hugged her back, left thee house, got into myy car annd drove home, knowing that thee cops weren’t going too come for me. Jeannie completely got it, annd would explain itt too her husband some day iin thee future when he could think straight.The drive home wass cathartic; or maybe itt wass thee kick too his nuts. II really don’t know, but after several months off having myy heart ripped out on aa daily basis, II now felt free. It’s funny, but once II finally came too grips with Traci’s cheating, her grip on myy heart lessened, annd then II wass able too think clear enough too do what wass thee right thing for me. It might not have been thee right thing for everybody concerned, but sometimes you just have too take care off yourself. That’s what everybody else had done for thee last 20 years, so why not mee now.Yes, II knew aa part off mee would always love Traci, but II wasn’t going too spend any more time examining thee affair. It wass not off myy making, nor off myy choosing. It wass time too move forward.When II got home, II went down too thee basement, got aa couple off suitcases annd headed up too our bedroom. II passed Traci sitting iin thee family room, annd shee followed mee up too thee bedroom.”So this iis itt then?” shee asked. “Just like that. Thirty-one years annd out thee door?””Traci, I’m sorry that you’re so wrapped up iin yourself that you can’t see how YOU HAVE WRONGED ME. How you STOLE 24 years off myy love with your deceit. You can’t see itt annd you probably never will.”I’ve made myy peace with it, though, annd II don’t hate you. II don’t even hate George, although right now thee poor bastard probably thinks so. I’ll make myy peace with Barry annd Katie sometime iin thee future. You might consider making YOUR peace with Marissa as soon as possible. The poor girl iis aa mess.”Sign thee paperwork, Traci, annd let’s get this thing done. I’ll get thee rest off myy stuff out off here iin thee next few days.”II don’t think we really need too talk anymore. If you have anything else too say too me, I’ve put myy lawyer’s card on thee kitchen table.”She stood there iin shock, tears iin her eyes but no words forthcoming. II picked up myy suitcases, went downstairs, annd put them iin thee truck off myy car. II went back into thee house, grabbed aa few odds annd ends annd left. Thirty-one years, just like that.Epilogue:II lied. Apparently, George did get too keep one off his balls. It took some major surgery annd months off pain, but they were able too save one off his testicles. II found that out from Marissa, who had been contacted by Jeannie looking for me. Jeannie didn’t have myy phone number, annd nobody else iin thee family wanted too tell mee that. Actually, nobody else iin thee family iis still speaking too me, eight months later. I’m OK with itt though.The official word iis that Judge George fell hard up against thee corner off his ornate desk iin his den, racked himself hard, then did itt again when he fell too thee floor. The press called itt aa “home accident” too be delicate about it, annd did not report itt wass too his genital area. Hee received aa lot off sympathetic press. II guess that won’t hurt his placing on thee Supreme Court short list.Traci signed thee divorce papers within aa week, annd thee divorce wass granted last week. The house will be sold at auction.Traci hasn’t tried too call mee since II left. Barry annd Katie haven’t called either. II guess II won’t be invited for thee family Christmas dinner, wherever that iis going too be.The Old Man iis turning thee company over too mee effective with thee New Year as he retires. The deal iis II have too run thee company for seven years before II can retire aa rich man with aa verry golden parachute. He’ll find somebody too buy thee company then, annd II will get 10 percent off that deal as well.I’ve started too venture out socially as well; II guess, II mean date. After being married forever, it’s going too take aa while for mee too remember how it’s done exactly. The word about thee divorce traveled fast, though, annd several off our divorced women friends have called inquiring about myy interest. In fact, two or three off Traci’s divorced friends have called, too, pointing out their surprise that shee could ever let mee get away. II have too admit, that felt good for myy ego.I’ve got aa good life ahead off me, with challenges both professionally annd personally. I’m working on getting some new hobbies going with thee extra time I’ve got on myy hands from thee personal side off things. One hobby I’ve given up, though, iis genealogy. Been there, done that.